Sharpie Evisceration

Category: bmw

BMW takes pride in what they do, how they do it, and what they accomplish. - The same spirit cannot be translated in their humbleness [For a good three minutes and fifty-one seconds, anyway]. A quick lesson on how to mutilate other luxury emblems with a felt-tip permanent marker: Slot them atop a reclining barcalounger to insinuate their desolate insipidity. Place them on a scale of justice to italicize the laws of perfect weight-distribution, preferably with an anvil on the bonnet and a kitchen sink on the boot. Breaking the fahrvergnügen credibility by disconnecting the four rings. Composing a doleful feline. Embedding them onto an opponent’s overpriced bill, complete with a halo above one of their own.

All of which accent the German car marque’s number one priority: “Building Machines For Driving Enjoyment.” Overlooking the whole “Canines can do mathematical equations” and “More shoe and pizza” quotient, BMW certainly defines the propeller emblem with the words “Dynamic,” “Innovative,” and “Independent.”

::YouTube::

No Steal My Wheel

Category: Jaguar

Leave the top down on your Jaguar E-Type Roadster with confidence, with this swell removable steering wheel kit from CMC. A toggle of two switches on the column and it disconnects. Plethoric coolness. No satire on this post. The world might be crumbling down.

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We have a cat down, cat down

Category: Crashes

Call the fire department.

::YouTube::

Hey look, a Tata recall.

Category: Jaguar

Jaguar XF

In a proverbial sense, this is a hair ball.

The Indian manufacturer has issued a recall for their benchmark cat, some 2,131 of ‘em. The XF’s fuel tank transfer pipe has the ability to kink, causing a fuel drought when you’re nearing the E light, which in turn could cause the vehicle to abruptly stop [I guess better than unintentionally speeding up? Eh?]. Tata will naturally fix the problem for you [and the following dilemmas after it, and after that, and so on].

::NationalHighwayTrafficSafetyAdministration::

Leno Mondays: 1964 Jaguar XK-E

Category: Jaguar

At this rate Jay will need an expansion in his garage…

Jay has purchased a new car… this 64 XK-E Roadster. Purchased from Jason Len himself of XKs Unlimited, this XK is highly modified with an upgrated 5-speed gearbox, enlarged 5.7L V12, stainless steel headers, big bore exhaust, heavy duty sway bars, dunlop wheels… This 380hp cat is worth whatever Jay overpaid for it…

Make sure to check out the burnout at the end of the video…

::JayLenosGarage::

Jaguar pisses us off by partially unveiling their XJ super saloon

Category: Jaguar

The first official photos of the next generation Jaguar XJ hits the web, & royally pisses me off. As far as teasers go, overhead shots are by far the worst

This is the first car to utilize Jaguars new “aerospace-inspired aluminum body architecture” (which im not sure is that much different from the previous generation XJs…), new diesel & gas engines alonsgside the XFRs 510hp V8, long & short wheelbase models &, supposedly, a plug-in hybrid derivative. The new XJ hits US dealers this winter

A teaser video is included in the package, which gives absolutely nothing more…

::GlobalMotors::