Asian Martin

Smoke and vertigo do not aid in visibility. So it’s best to be extra cautious when going ’round circles, those nasty curbs don’t automatically move out of the way like rally spectators. Watch this fox hop.

::YouTube::

Might as well say it: “Since I made it here, I can make it anywhere.” has considerably more weight in Detroit than it has in New York these days. Slowly growing it’s blossoms back, the wild 313 flower has endured it’s challenges in the winter and isn’t looking to stomp on the brakes anytime soon. Through economic declines and potholed streets, DET certainly has a renaissance on it’s mind. Ro Spit, Monica Blaire and the directors of this music video put in the details in this song and has made the slowly re-blossoming township proud with their catchy rhymes and smile-conducive homages. Hit play to view the well put-together remake of the Jay-Z and Alicia Keys original. Might as well say it: I like it even more.

::YouTube::

Yet another spin on a classic, your fuhrer gets banned from “complete BS” NASCAR this time around.

I guess you’ll just have to find another event who’s infield you can park your RV in, Grofaz. Can’t be on the grandstands drinking a fine German beer, so maybe he’ll settle for cable [or HD] to see that Impala SS, crazy Toyota wing, and that “hot babe” Danica Patrick. Boogity Freakin’ Boogity.

::YouTube::

Sage tip [Most especially to one specific 61-year-old New Yorker who was recently pulled over by the NYPD]: When skies are overcast, make sure the plastic life-size figure you’ve placed on your passenger seat to blaze through the LIEW’s HOV lane isn’t sporting sunglasses & using the visors. Are we astonished that people still do this? No. It’s still quite the ingenious scheme to blaze along traffic. Was the convenience of your plus-one worth the $135 fine and summons, sir?

We suggest a girlfriend. Preferably without acute photophobia.

::WashingtonPost::

The wife’s idea of a Valentine’s day joke. I’m not laughing. Much.

…Tony Stewart let’s us know In his own acerbic way, of course.

::YouTube::

Heel-toe, double-clutching, drifting, E-brake turning, all simulated by the scruff of an imaginative bloke’s vocal chords and a swift left hand. Prepare to chortle uncontrollably as if you’ve just seen a group of women doing a electric car dance routine.

::YouTube::

Berlin kiddies using their navigational instruments to track down Google Street View cars and flashing/making obscene gestures at the 360° lenses. GPS devices haven’t been this useful.

::USAToday::

They’ve tried to perfect this formula for decades but no matter how sticky the treads and/or wider the dimensions were, it just faltered like Toyota’s January 2010 sales figures. Yeah it functioned, it just gave new meaning to “Rolling death trap.”

::YouTube::

“Durr, do I hit this nail with a hammer or with my head?”

::YouTube::

Karmic retribution at play or simply a freak accident?

Ohio woman Deborah McDonald [47] was celebrating her winnings from a lottery game show called “Cash Explosion Double Play” on Tuesday night, not knowing it would “Double Play” as her going away party. As of yet, no reports have surfaced whether alcohol was involved [But why wouldn't it be involved?], but her behaviour certainly mimics Amy Winehouse’ after a trip to Piccadilly. She was struck by an oncoming vehicle while walking along the side of the highway; the woman behind the wheel of the Chevrolet Impala [irony], Eleanor Stults [48] was not under the influence, authorities say. “We are going to look into where she came from and where she was going,” Sgt. Joe Wentworth of the OH state patrol said.

Sad, yes. But one must wonder what had occurred to compel her to romp on the side of an interstate like a madwoman, cab fair isn’t such a biggie after a “Cash Explosion.”

::SanduskyRegister::

One great technique to learn the fields and knolls of Grand Theft Auto IV is to drive as many cars as possible - See how they handle, learn how to “dodge” cars… I would fathom the Dodge Durango to be, indeed, the ace of transport utilized in order to grasp the shortcuts of Liberty City [Although, the vehicle wasn't available on the game. Closest was the Cabby (Limited), aka Chrysler Town & Country]. Though if statistics are correct, if video games do influence people to break the law, then thief Michael Ray Ekes truly did stay loyal to the series And to Chrysler Corp.

Michael, age 30, was apprehended in the warm comforts of his home while holding a controller playing the notorious GTA IV - For stealing a Derange-o from a Polk County, FL Wal-Mart car park. But it’s OK, he has a perfectly good excuse… He’s a meth addict [And was shot up at the time of arrest, 'goy]. And just to slather more sugar icing on the cookie, Ekes has two previous charges for grand theft auto, ‘goy x2.

I will remember this dearly the next time I play Mafia Wars [Which by the way if some of you are wondering, i've given up 3 months ago].

::OrlandoSentinel::

Note: When visibility is at a premium, decrease speed, not intelligence.

::YouTube::

Behind the ghastly Panaeuroasian bebop, is a sick single-seat 3-door Fiat with a 1200cc ’saki hyperbike engine [which sounds equally sick]. I would skip to 1:25… Brak pytań extra!!!

::YouTube::

In what could only be described as a Keanu Reeves maneuver Sans Ray Bans, the black trench coat and the use for a slow mo’ dial, this highway patrolman’s avoidance to see any sort of white light and/or harp-like musical instrument was nothing short of… poetic [Not to mention the kickass Spidey-sense]. Anytime a compact pickup comes across your periph, I want you to pull a crouching tiger, tip your head, and call it a day.

::YouTube::

Armstead “screwed” convention back in the mid-20’s when they produced their twin-auger amphibious vehicle made for both snow and, well, everything else, really. The technology never lasted, as tracks were easier and cheaper to produce [not to mention oodles more practical, reliable, and *faster*].

The above film [turn up the volume to the highest setting] shows the capabilities of the Armstead, including it’s advantages over a struggling horse and jockey, ability to load - count them - *two* logs, tight turning radius, potentiality to cut grass, multifaceted use on both nippy and balmy temperatures, and bewildering speed against a man walking fast.

::YouTube::

Dig [or ride] yourself a bigger hole there boss. KTM’s are cool and all, but a smaller 125-250cc bike would have probably done you better in these murky conditions. Enjoy the repair bills on your Austrian. Dan.

::YouTube::

::Craigslist::