Asian Martin

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More bull-riding than tug-of-war really… A quite boring bull-ride at that. It’s a tough call, who do you think won?

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Asian Martin here with an amazing new product…

Need your arms rested for beer drinking, fighting, arm-wrestling, and “other real biker activities?” look no more than The Motorcycle Wave™. [Also available in righ-hand-drive markets]

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I’ll take that topped with New Hampshire’s best maple syrup. Delectable.

New England has another word for “Roadkill:” “Dinner.” Would you like the food sitting before you affixed with the emblem of your vehicle? In New England, it’s supposedly some new foodie trend. According to the Associated Press, if you strike a romping Bambi along Rte 3, conservation officers will be dispatched to inspect the scene and, “if the animal can be salvaged, it’s offered to the motorist who hit it. If the driver does not want it, the officers make phone calls hoping to find those who would like to take the animal for venison.”

What do we say? Is this grotesque or enviro-concious?

An estimated 1.5 Million deer-related vehicle collisions occur in the United States, 1,300 of which happen in NH’s roads. In 2009, car crashes with animals, mostly deer, killed 225 people in the country. Unless you’d like the option of a Cervidae meal for supper, we suggest being extra wary around deer-prone routes, driving below the limit, and watching the end of the movie where boy’s mom dies [It's sure to jerk a tear from your ducts].

::AssociatedPress::

A toast to Jim Henson and the continued use of his works. I’m sure this is what he had in mind to continue his legacy.

Smoke and vertigo do not aid in visibility. So it’s best to be extra cautious when going ’round circles, those nasty curbs don’t automatically move out of the way like rally spectators. Watch this fox hop.

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Might as well say it: “Since I made it here, I can make it anywhere.” has considerably more weight in Detroit than it has in New York these days. Slowly growing it’s blossoms back, the wild 313 flower has endured it’s challenges in the winter and isn’t looking to stomp on the brakes anytime soon. Through economic declines and potholed streets, DET certainly has a renaissance on it’s mind. Ro Spit, Monica Blaire and the directors of this music video put in the details in this song and has made the slowly re-blossoming township proud with their catchy rhymes and smile-conducive homages. Hit play to view the well put-together remake of the Jay-Z and Alicia Keys original. Might as well say it: I like it even more.

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Yet another spin on a classic, your fuhrer gets banned from “complete BS” NASCAR this time around.

I guess you’ll just have to find another event who’s infield you can park your RV in, Grofaz. Can’t be on the grandstands drinking a fine German beer, so maybe he’ll settle for cable [or HD] to see that Impala SS, crazy Toyota wing, and that “hot babe” Danica Patrick. Boogity Freakin’ Boogity.

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Sage tip [Most especially to one specific 61-year-old New Yorker who was recently pulled over by the NYPD]: When skies are overcast, make sure the plastic life-size figure you’ve placed on your passenger seat to blaze through the LIEW’s HOV lane isn’t sporting sunglasses & using the visors. Are we astonished that people still do this? No. It’s still quite the ingenious scheme to blaze along traffic. Was the convenience of your plus-one worth the $135 fine and summons, sir?

We suggest a girlfriend. Preferably without acute photophobia.

::WashingtonPost::

The wife’s idea of a Valentine’s day joke. I’m not laughing. Much.

…Tony Stewart let’s us know In his own acerbic way, of course.

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Heel-toe, double-clutching, drifting, E-brake turning, all simulated by the scruff of an imaginative bloke’s vocal chords and a swift left hand. Prepare to chortle uncontrollably as if you’ve just seen a group of women doing a electric car dance routine.

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