Yes, it’s practically Toyota day at the AsMart today. This time, the crack is coming from Rich Christensen, Pinks’ notorious flag-dropper. In poor taste, dude, never the AE86…
“It’s really f*cking simple, get your head out of your ass, stop thinking about saving the f*cking trees, stop thinking about the f*cking whales and the dolphins, and drive your g*ddamn car and use some common sense so you don’t hurt yourself, your family, or other innocent people because you’re so f*cking stupid to realize how to drive a f*cking car.”
We don’t need anymore “Thank You” and/or “We’re Working on it” promos, Toyota, we need to be yelled at because we’re so “f*cking stupid to realize how to drive a f*cking car.”
14
Feb
9:00 am
9:00 am
“However, Honda Does Make Something That We Just Can’t Compete With.”
Category: ToyotaWhat does Toyota’s “unintended acceleration” recall look like translated into lawn mower? One wickedly funny viral video.
Mnemonic devices help, but any slim excuse to make a rap song, right homie? And remember to “hit the brake, put in neutral,” it’ll save your life [Though i'm not sure you deserve to live if you need Lil Wayne to remind you of that].
As Toyota recall season goes into full-swing Yes folks, I am now deeming this to be a season, dealers are finding more and more ways to pamper their disgruntled customers. Free maintenance? Complementary fuel? Hugs? Nope, they accelerated to the personal grooming route [No pun intended]. The general managers of an Amityville, NY Toyota dealer have concocted a comical creative perk for their victims customers by offering… Yes, manicures. Free ones. Magazines? Recalled Toyota owners will sit down as a person [Asian I presume, "I do your nail fo fi dolla!"] files away their sorrows [Similar to how a Toyota service agent files their pedals]. The ladies of Long Island took advantage of this [Hopefully one-time] offer and took their uncontrollable Camries, Priora, etc. to the glamorous Toyota dealer and enjoyed their hand treatments [And apparently, three men].
And it doesn’t stop at manicures either! This pampering extends to free movie passes, anything to keep patrons occupied as their vehicles get shimmed. Although your ‘Yota dealer does recommend you make reservations ahead of time [Just like a real mani], the treatment stations… err… service bays… are booked solid as it is.
Let’s all hope this recall doesn’t get to a point where people will pull their fingernails off, they just had them did.
Despite speculation that Toyota’s infamous Death-by-mat incident was caused by reasons other than the aforementioned to death cause [unintended acceleration, for one], the conglomerate has issued a statement declaring that they did f*ck up and that the floormats, and the floormats alone are to blame. Endearing, yes. Lets beat the subject a few more times? We should [it's great entertainment]. Will need 20 years to recover from this, just like Audi and their triumph over 60 Minutes? No… Chances are a Saturn will self-combust next week when an owner uses his lumbar support switch and we’ll have a new donkey to pin our tail onto. For now, check your mail ToMoCo product owners, a love letter awaits.
Oh, and ‘Yota… assertions alone don’t put a heavy-duty band aid on it, release some data to support your claims [or at least wait for the NHTSA's final word].
Toyota Motor Company announced today their desperation plans to trim their line of trucks and make do without mid-cycle refreshes. “The goal [of halting refreshes] is to make a bigger splash with model launches and tailor cars to American demand. Toyota’s full-frame truck lineup is being reviewed and may likely be trimmed because of the shrinking market for big vehicles that use a lot of fuel.” The green is running short in the building, and though the dwindling of market share for large, fuel-chugging boxes may be coherent to the public and the industry, depriving them of cosmetic restyles is a clear indication of prosaic sales in a model’s halfway point from a plan that would otherwise boost an insipid vehicle’s sales. As if their product lineup didn’t already look like Maytag kitchen appliances on four wheels, they’ll look like the same Maytag kitchen appliances on for wheels for five [or more] straight years. And though Toyota’s sales are awfully consistent [they do have a reputation for so called "quality"], I think they’re underestimating this large chunk of opportunity on their horizon.
Gives a new meaning to mid-life crisis, eh.
And the price tag says $21,000…
Didnt it used to say 23? I guess they heard the Prius screaming after the introduction of the $19,800 Honda Insight. For an additional 9mpg, are you willing to pay an additional $1200? hell yeah, wait… im anti-Hybrid…. And even with the early sales boom in its home market Japan, I doubt the Insight will cast a shadow on the Prius any time soon… In fact, the Insight has some catching up to do, the Prius sold more than 1.2 million units worldwide…
